My first website was a “local” arts & crafts blog. What I did not consider when starting my online business was that people would want to meet me outside the comfortable confines of the online space.
To me, online business was being safe & sound on my couch. Alone. Possibly in my PJs.
Meet? For coffee? In real life?
I’m an introvert, a bit shy, and not particularly socially skilled.
I tried to use my 6 month old infant as an excuse.
“Nope, can’t. I’ve got a baby.”
Of course, that doesn’t work when the people who want to meet up with you are moms themselves looking both to get out of the house and to get ahead with their dreams.
“Bring her along!” they’d say.
Luckily, their persistence forced me out of my comfort zone. Within the first few months of starting my business, I’d met several new friends and even taught my first workshop!
At first, the terror of meeting someone new and battling my idea of her expectations of me was all I could think about. I’d be sick to my stomach days ahead of a simple coffee date. As coffee date after craft show after workshop started to pile up, things became easier.
Practice makes perfect.
I learned that the only expectation I really needed to worry about was the expectation for me to learn about someone new, explore her story, and meet her in the moment. It didn’t matter if I was more or less than she thought I was or if I had strange interests or if I ordered an iced latte in the middle of winter. What was important was meeting then & there with shared purpose.
That took me about 18 months to really understand. But still, it happened!
By the time I started to master meeting new people, I realized that much of the “social networking” that was happening among people online was happening offline. My peers & mentors were meeting up at conferences, workshops, retreats, and just generally traveling around furthering their careers.
Cause & effect.
If I wanted to grow my business by expanding my network, I was going to have to get out of my house. And my state.
I took the leap. Last year, I made it a point to travel to every conference that truly interested me and embrace the strangeness of strangers. I flew to Portland, OR for World Domination Summit & Profit Catalyst. I took the bus to NYC more than a few times. I hopped a plane to LA, St Paul, Chicago, and San Diego. And I sprinkled in plenty of day trips.
I put a priority on surrounding myself with people who “get” what I’m all about. Or people who should. Or people I just desperately wanted to understand myself!
Yes, it’s difficult to leave my child to travel. Yes, it’s difficult to pony up the money. Yes, it’s weird to be in a room with 500 people I don’t know.
But the benefits of meeting my clients, customers, and colleagues far outweighed any downsides.
I now have good friends – a support system – that span this country. Now we schedule Skype chats to stay in touch in between trips.
I have a better understanding of who my customers are and what their needs are. Cause they told me, over drinks.
The people I look up to in my industry know my name, my face, and what my work is all about. Cause they asked.
But best of all, I have the experience of seeing people encounter my work firsthand. I have the confidence that comes with the “aha! moments” that people take away from dinner or drinks. I feel the ease with which my work emanates.
That’s something I’ve not experienced in any other setting in just the same way. And so I keep leaving the house, I keep traveling, I keep meeting people.
In the end, online business is no different from offline business.
We are all in the people business. And if you’re going to be in the people business, you better understand your business in relation to people.
Regularly interacting with your peers & potential customers allows you to consider these questions:
- What is it like to talk about my business with people who care?
- What aspects of what I offer appeal to people outside my current audience?
- What appears most valuable about what I do?
- How do others talk about me & my work?
- What lights me up when I talk about my business with people who get it?
- How is my story different from others stories?
Put away your excuses. Put on a sharp outfit and get out of the house. If you can, get in a plane, a train, or an automobile. Leave home behind — leave online in the dust.
Venture out to find the people who will enable you to make your business sing.
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Love this, Tara. It’s so true. Even when I was new to my business and thought others knew so much more than me, I made it a point to go to breakfasts about my industry. I learned a ton and met some wonderful people. Now, I’m inspiring others in that same breakfast with the “why” behind my business.
I’m experiencing the same thing abicowell. It’s pretty difficult to put yourself ‘out there’ when your biz is just starting up and it seems like EVERYONE else has it together. But once I started to get out and connect with others I’ve begun to realize that everyone is pretty much in the same boat in one way or another.
It gives us room to grow and also can help us communicate more naturally online as well.
…and thanks for sharing Tara – a great perspective!
Totally agree, Jessica. We don’t give ourselves enough credit often times. I’ve connected with new clients just by being “out and about” and talking to people. And, I’ve learned so much from others at the same time. It helps me to remember that there’s “room” for everyone in business. We all have a different perspective and way of approaching the same “thing” and it will appeal to different people. No scarcity mindset here!
Good stuff!
I do have a real excuse, I live far far away from everyone (and I know, in the US plane tickets are kinda cheap but in Canada, it’s really expensive)… Oh, and I’m a really shy person with no social skills (or a weirdo I guess)… But sometime, I wish I could get out for a cup of coffee (bringing my 3 months old with me) with someone who gets me!
I totally resonate with this post Tara – if anything I find my customers so interesting and desire to learn much about them. There are always some people whom you instantly connect with and find yourself making more time to get to know them better. The links may be first with your business, but I often find that you connect with them on so many other levels too. To me, putting myself and my craft “out there” and then encountering so many new people, strangers who have become friends, has broadened and enriched my world completely. I am truly enjoying this aspect of my business journey.
Tara, I would have NEVER guessed you were an introvert. That’s such news to me. Nonetheless, I can completely relate to those feelings you cited and appreciate the challenge you’ve presented here.
As Danielle Laporte says, “Show up. Shine. Let it go.”
Thanks Tara, it’s good to know there’s hope out there for us quiet types!
Just a couple of years ago I was dealing with a lot of personal upheaval an it made me quite withdrawn. But a return to study & starting to work alongside other creative people has really helped bring me back out of my shell again.
Twitter has been great in helping me build new networks of colleagues, customers, an friends both on and offline. People that really like me and my photographic work as opposed to people just thrown together because they work in the same building. Some of the best new friendships I have are from getting myself out of the house and putting on a brave face – because those new friends were doing the exact same thing. =)
Thanks for your post. =)
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